In these crazy times just keeping your head straight can be a challenge; however, moving to another country can take those challenges to another level. Here are 6 tips to help you keep your sanity.
Since leaving New Zealand we have met many people on the trail. Some are thriving whilst others are dealing with stress-related dramas that are manifesting into unhealthy, unwanted realities.
It does not matter if you find your paradise. If your emotions are all over the shop heaven can be a kind of hell.
Here are 5 strategies to help you keep sane in a crazy world. These are my strategies. I am not preaching they are THE Strategies; they just work for me… when I remember to apply them! In all of these categories, I am a student rather than a master.
Perhaps some of them might work for you.
Tip 1. Establish Your ‘Why’
Made famous by Simon Sinek, the concept of establishing your ‘why’ when moving to a new country can be life-changing for the better.
We are constantly faced with challenges that are consequences of our decision to relocate.
Residence application, language barriers, banking challenges, looking for a home or car…we instinctively ask ourselves ‘why’ are we doing this!
I realize that if I do not have a clear, resounding ‘Why’ in mind, I open myself to being vulnerable to buckling under pressure.
I recently listened to an interview with an ex-Special Forces Soldier who explained how he endured his military training. He would internally replay that song in his mind, ‘Nobody’s going to break my stride, nobody’s going to slow me down, I’ve got to keep on moving’.
I have my own internal song of sorts. It is my mantra and I often repeat it when I ask myself ‘why’.
What is your ‘why’?
Tip 2. Keep Your Whinging to a Manageable Level
We have seen too many people who are consumed with whingeing.
There will be things about your new country that you will not like, but no matter how much you complain, the changes are probably not coming, or if they are, not anytime soon…
Complaining elevates the prominence of negative things in our lives. Also, whilst we are busy complaining we miss the many good things in front of us.
We all complain, and venting can be therapeutic. If the need arises, call your Nana, tell her your woes, and then get on with life. Do not put your whinge on social media because it is recorded in memoriam; just waiting for whinge buddies to comment. It can be a year later; bang, your whinge post has just been commented on, and down that dark hole, you go back down.
A great way to get over your complaining spasm is to remind yourself of your ‘why’.
‘Why am I here? Oh, that’s right, my ‘why’ is ………….., and my ‘why’ is far more important than the fact that I cannot get chocolate-coated salami sticks or deep-fried Twinkies in these Supermarkets.’
Importantly, by keeping your whingeing to a manageable level you are more likely to keep away other whingeing, energy vampires who tend to congregate with whingers.
Tip 3. Manage Your Social Media Activity
In most social media platforms there are generally a few paranas and energy vampires on the prowl, looking for unsuspecting victims to venture into their snare. A few coarse exchanges and a flurry of misinformed posts later, and you can be left mentally battered and bruised.
This is especially relevant when relocating as there are expat cookie monsters and wannabes that want to rain on your parade. social media is a kind servant but a cruel master, so do not let it get the better of you.
We use social media for research, however we take care not to fall foul of it.
Tip 4. Mind Your Language
Whenever I talk about New Zealand or Australia, I try to check myself when referring to them as ‘back home’. It sounds like a minor thing, but your home is where your heart is, and your language reflects what is in your heart.
Paraguay is now my home and I intend to make that a permanent state of being.
By stopping myself from saying ‘back home’ I am training the reminiscent part of my mind to get back in its box and let me live in the now.
‘This is my home. I am in my rightful place.’ This is my self-talk. It feels healthy.
Tip 5. Look After Your Relationships & Build Networks
You want to avoid a marital/partnership breakdown in your new country. Unfortunately, it does happen. Stress of any kind can be a relationship fracturing influence.
Look after each other and forgive quickly. Your family is your new community. Nurture the community you do have and grow your network because it is already small enough. You do not need to make it any smaller.
Cultivate and broaden your relationships with others. Of course, there are people you will not gel with. That is fine, but remember, friends come and go, and enemies accumulate.
Expat communities are Petrie dishes in which word spreads quickly. Guard your reputation as much as possible.
I try to be a drama llama, not a drama farmer. If I find myself having a string of dramas I try to self-analyze to identify the degree to which I have caused the drama.
Tip 6. Be Happy…Tranquilo
I came all this way to be happy, so I just do that as much as I can. I’ve learned the most important Spanish word is ‘tranquilo’.
Be tranquil as much as possible.
So, there’s 6 tips to help you keep your sanity.
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A great reminder in the emotional ups n downs of moving countries 🙂
Yes, it is a bit of a rollercoaster at times!😉